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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Me, who I am, what I do, another warning, and other crap.

Now, onto me in the real world...

I'm 31, I have 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. One of said children is my step-son who lives in TN (long Jerry Springer like story) so I may not post much about him. We love him and miss him dearly, but circumstances, mostly financial, do not allow him to be with us full time.
I've been married for 10 years and LOVE my husband. We've known each other since 6th grade, went on 1 date when we were 11, stayed friends, but didn't date again until almost 10 years later, then got married a short 2 1/2 months after we did start dating. He works full time+ in the construction field while I do the mom and student thing.
I'm very close to my parents, talk to them daily and we only live 2 miles from each other. My father is currently fighting cancer and, we thought, kicking it's ASS! We got news about a week ago that he has spots on the CT scan in his lungs, so we went to the Doc yesterday and found out that it's metastasized in both. While this sounds horrible and possibly terminal, we did receive good news. He goes for surgery 1 week from today to remove the small sliver of the upper lobe of his left lung where the tumor is, but we have to wait for the right lung due to the TEENY TINY size of the 1 definite spot and to keep an eye on the smaller, also the depth of them within the tissue is a problem. His official diagnosis was "Soft Tissue Sarcoma" and the original problem was a tumor in his right quad muscle. We dealt with chemo, which wasn't as horrible as some, and he's also done the radiation and we received the news of his lungs the day after his last radiation visit. (FML, for sure) The tumor in his leg shows necrosis (it's effin DYING!) and we would have had to wait for about a month for the surgery to remove it to allow the "Microwaved" tissue to heal enough. Unfortunately the Dr told him we have to figure out the lungs thing before the leg can be worked on again (he did NOT say this in a nice way and had I been there, I would probably be in jail), so here we are with that. This is the scariest thing I have ever dealt with in my life (other than the 3 minutes I couldn't find my daughter b/c she was hiding) and I wonder daily if I'll finally have that impending mental breakdown to have the lovely long awaited vacation in Addler (the beautifully redesigned psych ward nearest us).

I have very few friends, purely out of choice, due to their lack of ability to be decent human beings or grow the eff up! It seems that when we got the news about my dad everyone just up and disappeared, so I did the same for them. Now I only get phone calls from those people when they need help with their car, moving or they're in need of money. I say eff those people. It's my turn to be the a-hole that they've been to me since January. The friends I do have aren't very close, but I appreciate them more than they know. Right now, though, my closest friends are my husband, kids and parents. I miss most of these no-longer-friends more than they know, but their petty bullshit pissed me off too much to stick around and wait it out with everything else I was (and still am) dealing with.

I'm a college student, full time. Having done everything backwards from what most of us are taught (school, marriage, kids. Reverse all of that and you have me) Hey, why conform, right?!?! I'm a 31 year old college student working on my AA. I'm majoring in Psych (HA! I'm BiPolar and have Adult ADD) and I'm planning to minor in Theology. I like to figure out why people think, act and feel the way they do and I want to be able to relate those to their religious or spiritual beliefs. I'm fascinated by religion and the ceremony and ritual within a system and I am also appalled at some of the actions taken in the past and present when religious belief has been the excuse. My psychological approach is more of a standing of accountability. It's Humanistic, you need to accept the consequences of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and words and be held accountable for them. This applies to the everyday citizen, teachers, doctors, LAWYERS, and especially our POLITICIANS!
I'm an avid reader. (most of the time) I am in a paranormal fiction phase right now and love the supernatural aspects of fiction novels. I don't do aliens or sci-fi as much and I'm not real big into historical fiction, unless, of course there is a supernatural twist.
I also love to read about "obscure" religions. The less that is publicized or known, the more interested I am. I am most interested in the non-Christian religions, as there seems to be less controversy and coverage of these religions throughout the past. Nothing against Christianity, I grew up going to Catholic school, then to Christian school, I went to church, I read [most of] the book, I know how it ends. I just prefer to look into the basis of other systems and how the function and practice.
Well, this has been MUCH more than I planned to write for my first day of "blogging", so I'll let you [exactly ZERO] readers digest that all and decide if you would like to come back for more at a later time.
Please let me know if you find misspellings within my posts, as I try to catch them, but sometimes think faster than I type. My original plan was to be an English Teacher, but Psychology is more interesting as it changes and spelling really doesn't. lol
Have a great day/night (depending on where you are) and go have an adventure. Just try not to kill or maim yourself or anyone else in the process.
Peace out, Cub Scouts!

I use parenthesis, A LOT. I think they're fun and add a little comedic pause, no matter how unnecessary. I also may come up with a new word for "blog" or try out a few. I don't know why, but the word Blog just sounds ridiculous and I'm not a techy or a nerd, so the act of "blogging" just isn't something I would say I do.


  1. Well you have at least one reader . I've always thought "blogging" was kind a weird word too. I know where they got it.... but still, it just sounds weird. It makes me think of "flogging" or that "sport" in which guys get up on logs on a river & try to spin each other off of the log. Strange. I don't remember seeing any misspellings, but I also didn't know I was going to be put into the role of editor, either. Next time I'll be sure to check, lol.

    Seriously, though, that's some pretty scary stuff you're going through with your dad. I'm really sorry to hear about that. I do know that your dad is very lucky to have such a strong daughter to go through this with. And I know you don't feel strong sometimes, because it's not easy to put on that game face, but you are both so very lucky to have each other.

    We will definitely work on getting together next week, you need time to vent. *hugs*

  2. Thanks, Erin. I'm not asking anyone to be editor, just if you catch it and makes you laugh or cringe, lemme know. I try to keep up and do most of it on my own, but sometimes I get heated, or excited or just scattered and type too fast and don't catch it. I make sure I read stuff at least twice before I post anything long to check, but little stuff may slip past.

  3. I know, I was just messin'. :)