Total Pageviews

Saturday, July 16, 2011

As expected, it was awesome

Well, it's been a long day. I had a great day with my dad, just hanging out and being together without having to yell at kids or compete with the attitudes and such of everyone. The CWP class was good, LONG, but good. The people at the Antelope Club we went to were wonderful, the videos were ridiculously outdated and hilarious and the "would you shoot" scenarios were all pretty much a yes. lol
Didn't shoot nearly enough rounds, found out that I'm not happy with our tiny 9 mm, looking into a .45 semi-auto. The 9 we have has plastic crap grips and Dad suggested just getting new ones, but the gun itself is unbalanced and too small and light for my man hands and testosterone level, so we're officially on the hunt for a nice .45. I'd LOVE to have a Sig Sauer, but I refuse to drop $600 on a firearm when we have yet to hit the lottery or sell one of the kids.
There were some beautiful firearms at the range today and there were also some really irritating people that couldn't follow simple directions. One man had a .40 and it was GORGEOUS and the thunder in my chest when he was the last one unloading his rounds was amazing.
Dad and I went to Knight's shooting before the class today to look at the .45 military issue semi-auto we saw last week, but as the story of my life goes, it was sold YESTERDAY! I almost cried. We also went to another dealer and they had a smorgasbord of firearms to choose from. (see the $600 Sig from above) I didn't want to leave, but I really wanted to take the class.
Dad and I had a talk about his wishes when the time comes and I told him that I didn't think my mom would be able to handle it, so I needed to know what he wanted and didn't. He doesn't have an advanced directive or living will, yet, but is gonna get one figured out, doesn't want a DNR signed unless there's no alternative so he's not the next Terri Schaivo. At some point this week I have to sit him down and get him to let me in on what he's thinking, so I can make sure he gets what he wants when it comes down to it. All he said definitively is that he THINKS he wants to be cremated. Thanks for that clear answer, Dad. lol It's not something I ever wanted to think about or be faced with, but knowing that he's having major surgery in less than a week, I think it's important that he knows that I'm willing to be the one who makes sure his wishes are conveyed. This also saves my mother another broken heart, cause she had to sign one for her mom in 1988 and 3 years ago she watched my grandfather, her dad, pass away under the hands of the EMT's that were trying to save his life. This also takes the obligation off of my brother who isn't currently capable of communicating how he feels about anything unless he's pissed off. Only problem we're facing here is the fact that FL says Mom has the say so, unless he signs the Power of Attorney over to me in the event of.... Seriously doubt he's willing to face the wrath of Mom to do that.
I know I'm talking a big game right now and I'm sure that I would be a giant ball of psychotic moosh when it came down to it, but shit, do I have a good game face or what? This whole cancer thing sucks major ass. I just can't figure out why the fuck it had to be Dad, ya know? My mom's not coping AT ALL and we joke about it, but if something happens to my dad, she's gonna be fucking useless and possibly suicidal. I can't handle that, too. I can't even imagine what's going through her mind. I know it's rough, cause both of her parents are gone and she only has 1 brother that we only see maybe once a year, if we're lucky. I don't know what to do with or for her. To be honest, I'm barely holding it together most days. Just trying to think it's not as bad as it could be until I get different news, I guess.
Well, sorry that I turned into Debbie fucking Downer so quick, just the ADD kicking in again. It's worse when I have so much to talk about and no one to really SAY it to, I guess. Gonna go put the youngest kid to bed and maybe read a bit.
Have an awesome Sunday. Go to church or something, you sinning bastards. lol

No comments:

Post a Comment